So the graphic above of ROTTEN TOMATOES’ STAR WARS movie ratings — as well as some fellow geek-culture friends and beyond — has inspired me to defend my beloved RETURN OF THE JEDI once again. So . . . Ewoks aside (because they’re everyone’s whipping teddies), what the hell is so wrong about EPISODE VI? Granted I was only 9 when I first saw the movie in the theater, but all the Darth Vader (his eternal inner conflict with his better self, which he finally bested) and Emperor Palpatine (such pure diabolical evil, and the Dark Force lightning!!!) stuff left such an indelible mark on my young psyche. And then there’s the Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa twin sibling reveal, Yoda’s cryptic message and (un)timely death. The excellent opening scenes and set pieces at Jaba’s palace — and Jaba himself for fuck’s sake, that fat slab of gangster kingpin, and of course Salacious Crumb, the Sarlac pit, the green light saber, Leia and Lando in spy/infiltration and rescue mode, Leia and Han’s romance, C-3P0 as a golden god, a spectacular space battle with X-Wings (fighter jets in space were my favorite as a child — see: OG BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, BUCK ROGERS), the speedster bike chase in the forest, good triumphing over evil and yes, some medium-sized woodland creatures-turned badass to help save the day! What am I missing here?